I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
