you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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