But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We're too hungover to prance.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
