Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i think i have two assholes
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
