Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
