I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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