i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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