Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
