we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize