Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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