I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
