i think my mom watched the whole time
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
