So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
what is it with giant penises always finding me
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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