your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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