Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Randomize
