I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
