Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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