puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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