I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
