That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
