You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
