I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
