is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
