i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
