He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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