when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
