imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
