used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
