I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize