im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Randomize
