If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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