ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
