If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
there is puke in my bra ... again
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