week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
