This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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