its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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