dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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