So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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