Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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