Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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