Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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