i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
