Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
