My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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