I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Terrible idea I love it
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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