hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
