So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
