I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
