I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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