feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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