i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
