she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize