he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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