I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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