tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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