lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She's the barista slut.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
