Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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