every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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