i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
