Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
