i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
